A Walk From My Sister's - A Walk Across Two Cultures (Third Culture Kid)

A walk from my sister's to my grandma's down Alajuela.
The streets I was born in, the ones I walked down as a child.
I walk them no more; they are mine, but they are not mine.
The people look at me, I look back.
A stranger amidst the streets, a foreigner amidst the men.
Dark hair, like me. Dark eyes, like me. Similar stature, similar pigments, like me.
But the clothes, they are different. The build, it is different.
New clothes, new brand, unworn. A glare, a scoff.
They are mine, but they are not “mine.”
Visitors greet my mom. Friends.
"How are you, Aileen?”
"And you, mahe? I remember he was a kid as small as this when I saw him"
"What?" I ask
"Oh, do you speak Spanish?"
Of course I speak Spanish. Maybe better than you, definitely different.
The language is mine. The idioms and accents are "mine", but they are not mine.
In the restaurant. "Excuse me, what do you recommend?" A southern drawl.
"Oh, do you speak English?"
Of course I speak English. Maybe better than you, definitely different.
The language is mine, but it is not "mine".
They laugh. A foreigner, they think. What would he know?
Blonde hair, blue eyes are different, but the culture.
Your culture is mine, but it is not "mine".
My country, my motherland.
The name, it is on the birth certificate.
It is on my passport, my green card, the documents, in print.
It is "mine".
But the music, the customs, the land, the knowledge of the land. Patriotism.
Parts are in me, but it is not mine.
Children walk the streets, don blue shirts and pants, laughing, hanging, chilling.
I look through the window. Still in school. I´m not.
A window. A different lens. An observer, from another place.
At home, a car window. An observer, from another place.
Spic at home, gringo at home. A home? No home.
First culture? Not alone, but lonely. It is "mine", but it is not mine.
Second culture? Not alone, but lonely. It is mine, but it is not "mine".
Third culture? Not lonely, but alone.
Very alone.
It is mine, it is "mine". But it is nowhere to be seen
Can easily adapt, but can´t easily adopt.
Drifting, wondering. Few know, few understand.
Third Culture Kid